Everyone has a desire to connect. When this connection is co-dependent, individuals dump unprocessed experiences and problems on their partners. They believe they have an obligation to take care of their partner so their partner will take care of them. Many of us, because we do not understand the confusion and compromise occurring, open ourselves up to our partner’s demands by sharing our space, time and energy. Conflict occurs when these needs or desires are not aligned. This amplifies the tension, intensity and competition in the relationship. This conflict creates circumstances where we define ourselves in terms of our partners and thus lose connection with the wholeness of ourselves.
Unconscious merging creates pressure to perform to meet each other expectations. Sensation based individuals seek physical closeness and feeling distance. Feeling based individuals want reflection and sharing but physical distance. Tension occurs when our partner is not operating the way we wish. This creates two separate half-empowered people, minimizing our ability to support each other. We need to examine how much we think we are doing to help others and compare it to how much we think they should be doing to confirm the arrangement.
All conscious beings have the ability to reflect upon their own nature and see themselves independent of their body, emotions and mind. This capacity for self-reflection is what we use when we look back from the relationship space to perceive our own autonomous creative nature. We expand consciousness in the practice of holding an energetic connection between the common ground and our creative Self, which facilitates the exchange of knowing and being. In a way, we are creating a transpersonal aspect of our nature that allows us to see possibilities from another’s perspective.