Conscious individuals connect energetically through sensations, feelings, emotions, thoughts and intuition. We call these connection frameworks experiential modalities. We know that individuals that match us in our modalities can most likely see us. Instead of trying to get people to appreciate us by taking care of their weaknesses, let us engage them in authentic ways. To the degree someone is under doing or over doing any of their modalities it indicates defensive distortions and co-dependence. When our modalities are off balance, we seek excitement, intensity, and anxiety in partners to offset our own defensive attractions. This is why we choose unavailable or co-dependent partners. The initialization of any good relationship begins with calibration, not compromise.
Conversations reveal the degree of unbalanced modalities, if we know what to examine. Conscious possibilities are revealed in the elegance, completeness and graciousness of a communication. By possessing a flow and flexibility, it shows how others want to experience the adventure of connection. The key is to observe the degree of mutual respect and esteem both parties exhibit. Our creative presence shines forth and the ability not to react makes it easy for a partner to engage us. When we understand how to create a mutual relationship space (CNG) we are not self-conscious or nervous because we see the relationship as independent of us.
This free intro discussion shows how to connect with others without feeling the need to hide out or perform to make them like us. We encourage clients to present themselves as authentically as possible, bringing out common objections so they can be expressed quickly. This supports others in rejecting us so we can move forward without them. Most importantly we can speak truthfully about any deal breakers in relationships. What we realize is that objections are not personal, but reflect differences in relationship aspirations. Rejections are actually mutual, because they represent a gap in our transpersonal desires. Since we each deserve to be seen and accepted by our partner, if this is not possible, then even a friendship is questionable.
Conscious individuals seek partners with Aliveness, Wisdom and Awareness. At a minimum we want autonomous, intimate and co-creative relationship connections. At the end of this class we will practice making conscious connections in breakout groups. This will provide further reflection about our abilitiy to respond to our partners and be present to them. While it may be apparent to our partner, it can help us see where we are operating when choosing partners. For example, if we are selling or seeking safety or excitement, it indicates we are caught in parental substitutes. If we are selling or seeking security and intensity, we like opposite defense partners with the desire to take care of us. Many of us can identify with selling or seeking self-importance where we have choices about how to direct and manage someone. This is sometimes seen as better than outright competition, which makes the rest of us interested in cooperation and teamwork of conscious, Co-Creative Partnerships.